- The bully. They just want other people do things following their way. They want you to keep quiet and listen to their talk. They will use their authority or their boss' authority. The worse thing is, some times these people will just use very bad tone or manner when they talk. They make you feel like you are nothing. And they like to show their "power" in front of the public to make them look good, but bad on you ...
- The sniper - They like to stab you from the back! In front of you, they will say all the good things to you. When you are not careful enough ... your blood is leaking ...
- Everything can; but come to the end, everything cannot!
- Everything is no. Before you finish your explaination, the answer is already in his mind -- No!
- "Let's do it! You go first, I will come after you ..." This kind of people will talk like a leader, but when come to problem solving ... you are on your own ... they already start digging another hole somewhere else ...
- "I know it cannot work. But, don't ask me why!" This kind of people, always got their own assumptions and start with something negative. He will criticise whatever you say, but no solution is recommended. He can always say, "you are the consultant, so you should know what is wrong! Don't expect me to pay you and tell you the answer!"
- "The things already in my blood! I will never be wrong! Don't ever try to say something stupid to me!" This kind of people just remember the old good days in their time ... whatever they have done was perfect, the best ... they won't admit that there are better ways out there ... They always believe that their experience and skills will never expire ...
- "I already knew that it won't work ..." This kind of people will criticise how fool you are only after all you have done and tried. They were quiet when you were doing the planning even they were part of the planning team. When something goes wrong, then only they say "I already suspected the things will not work ..." Their "wisdom" always comes only "after" other people failure!
- Smoker! This kind of people like to "smoke" your view, they paint the wrong picture to cover up what they have done wrong. For example, they will start talking loud on your issue to distract people attention on his late attendance to the meeting ...
- The Great Pretender! This type of people will be the "nice" people all the time. They will appologize for their fault, their mistake ... but will do it again and again ... It is like they slap on your face and then say sorry for it ... again!
- The Micro-Manager! This type of people are very thourough. They can always find the "fish bone" in an "egg"!
Do you have the same problems?
Related links:
Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
Books Recommendation - Crucial Confrontations and Crucial Conversation
PowerPhrases - Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, Don't Be Mean When You Say It
2 comments:
The bully is common. They lack confidence in themselves so bully others to cover their own difficiencies. Use subtle enquiries, feed their ego then find the truth.
The sniper happens often enough. we often discover it when we realise our blood is leaking ... "friend who tell us what is happening won't tell us who these culrpits are" and it take years for the truth to come out.Funny these can include those who seem extra good to us.
Everything can group is often a case of pure inexperience. They go out without knowing how things are done. In haste and urgency, they say CAN to everything. They soon learn but the hard way. More often these are new comers. So help them see the light by showing how a simple request can have significant ramification.
Everything is no has not cross my path yet. Sample issues can help me understand the issue better.
"Let's do it! You go first. I call this the chicken, lots of talk but lacking substance. When I see one, I act based on my own assessment. so they don't matter.
"I know it cannot work" group needs lots of understanding on our part. They intuitively guess it but unable to articulate their raesonings yet. Prod with humble enquiries and in a coaching mode uncover their real reservations.
"Ask them but, don't ask me why!" often come from bosses. They understand the biz implications and focus on the biz purpose. Thats right for a start. As consultants we establish the biz objective/s, why done that way and any alternatives. I get to learn lots more and hence more productive getting to the bottom of things
"The things already in my blood! For this group, I try the old oven joke to open their mind during my CHANGE MANAGEMENT programme.
I like your term -- "the Chicken" :-p
For the "No" group, the example is like the following:
We suggest things, then he will say, "No, I don't think so ..." When you suggest another idea, he will say, "No, that will not help". When you ask "Why not you tell me what will work?" He will say, "No. I want to hear all your options first ..."
This group of people doesn't use the "mean way" to offend you. But, they will always finding for better answer ... but they don't know what is the best answer ...
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